Hey All, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, I SWEAR IN THIS ONE!
Its been a while and things are bumpy as they often are this time of year. First things first, This delicious sounding recipe came from Bake at 350. Its a pumpking beer donut hole recipe. Husbear and I have recently reinstated "Workaholics Anonymous" on Fridays. Wasatch Beers Beer Store recently remodeled part of their store and packaging room into a tap room and they have one of the best pumpkin beers in the land. Its a great spot to go hang out after another rough week and have a couple...not a ton like I used to do, just a couple to take the edge off and help me slip into the weekend.
There has been a ton of activity in our world. Most of it good, some of it terrible, and some of it was the hard break that needed to happen to get us both on track and back to appreciating our life together.
All kinds of weird things happened that really made us both feel terrible. I'm not going to lie that its hard to look at someone that has hurt you and say, "You're all I've got....please...." Yes, divorce came up, no, its not going to happen. We've invested WAY too much into one another to walk away over a series of small events and small people. I've dissolved some unhealthy friendships, but it wasn't that hard with a clear picture of just how badly taken advantage of I was. So friends, fair warning, don't ask me for money.....we're adults, we know how to take care of ourselves, and if you don't, figure it out!
Please has morphed into helping each other, being communicative of expectations and feelings, and working really fucking hard to rebuild trust in each other. I think we're doing well, but I won't lie, I have paranoid tendencies....those will ease up with time. Also we started a "family calendar" so we know what's going on, who's working late, expected tasks, etc......that makes it sound way more complicated than it really is, it just helps us be clear in what's going on.
My work made another reduction-in-force, if that's what you call it. I thought we were already running on empty. Apparently we had 38% of disposable gasoline. I've already become a department of one when my old boss left, so my operation wasn't affected other than watching some of my favorite colleagues get pissed away. It sucks....I've been applying for just about anything that I'm even remotely qualified for. Its draining, especially when you get turned down without even an interview. I'm beginning to believe I'm a good employee and have the right stuff to offer.....especially when it comes to adaptability and knowing my shit.
Also, a dear friend was diagnosed with colon cancer just before Burning Man. (pause, Above and Beyond ft. Oceanlab - Another Chance just came on....this song debuted in the US on my birthday 2 years ago, I think...it was the first time I heard it and I remember it being big shit with another dear friend, and I LOVE IT!). Cancer, even kindergarten cancer, scares me to death after losing Angelica. Her's was supposed to be "very treatable"....yeah, we see how that worked out. I'm scared...she's 600 miles away and is already losing a ton of weight. She needs a good bear to cook for her....if you're a queen that can't put down the butter in the bay area, let me know, I may have a mission for you.
I also started going back to the gym with another friend that happened to reach out at the right time. My body is really unhappy with years of neglect, but if nothing else at least I'm staying fluid this winter.
So I'm exhausted....I'm having a very tough time at work after something I didn't even approve of went sideways and I get to figure it out. Gee, thanks for thinking that one through guys!
I'm beyond emotional fatigue....if you really want to know how I feel, take a good look in a burn barrel after Burning Man. We go back to the shrink on Nov 5th together....I hope I don't do too much damage between now and then. I'm not known for being kind when I'm in this state.
I take comfort in cooking and bargain shopping. $0.69/lb for some of the best drumsticks and thighs I've ever had...yes please. And laughing with the meat counter guys while they portioned up more was great. Training the gals at Rancho how to put my order together has been fun, but their sales haven't been that great.....soon, tho, we'll need some of their thin cut steak for meat birds/beef Wellington. Using up one of the last two jars of grape sauce...with perfectly dry and crumbled feta over chicken and rice pilaf.....oh yes! Rediscovering the joy of ravioli and tortellini..... Jeff Mauro's crock pot deep dish pizza is still on deck..... And those are just the things I've been making. Husbear has been kicking ass with other great bear food too!
Food has been great.... In case you missed it, the link for the google doc that helps us menu plan is still there. We scored on Pork Leg a while back....yes, it shreds just like pork should and makes AMAZING chili! We'll use some leftovers to make heuvos rancheros for breakfast tomorrow since the 1 hen we have left has been working overtime....she's been laying 2 eggs every 3 days. We may try for a couple more hens in the spring to help with her workload.
I really want to make granola again. I have had some amazing breakfast treats in recent memory, all homemade of course...but its time to make more granola. I've also learned that store bought cereal can be worked in for added crunch and texture :) Cripsy rice and frosted flakes have been especially good. I'm eyeing lemon and ginger for this round.....
I think that's enough psycho babble for now....I'll leave you with this!
Lotsa Love,
3day
